Life's greatest meaning, is to find life's greatest meaning.

Is there really a meaning to life?  Often times I find myself picturing my surroundings from an aerial view, and I'm sure we all look like the very ants we tend to crush beneath our feet. Scurrying aimlessly from one place to another, appearing to have little or no direction in our ways. You go to school, to get a job, to go to work every day. You laugh at jokes that aren't funny, eat food that doesn't taste very good, and participate in relationships that really aren't meaningful. Routine upon routine of pointless agendas that contribute nothing of purpose. I watch people laughing and wonder if things are really funny, or if they are laughing because they know they are supposed to. I hear myself laughing and watch it like it's happening to someone else, like a scene from a movie. Moments of what feel like real happiness melt away to an uncomfortable consciousness that I'm not really enjoying myself. My smile is rigid. My posture is tense. Why am I here, what am I doing, who am I pretending to be. I wonder if I'm the only one who lacks appropriate emotions for the situations. Do we all feel unsure of how to love, how to smile, and how to cry, with concrete meaning behind our actions? I feel like my life is a continuous loop of things sitting the wrong way. I want to turn them right side up, but I don't even know which way that is.